Wednesday, June 27, 2018

20 truths

Today I'll let you in on 20 truths you may or may not know about me.  Don't anybody go taking offense to anything... it's just my silly little opinion.  Hit the little X on the top of the page if you don't like it.  Some of it's weird... some is pretty common...  So here goes nothing.


  • The ocean terrifies me.  It's the power.  It is so unpredictable.  The depth is unknown to me.
  •  My favorite color to paint my toenails is red.  Classic. 
  • I love cheesecake.  
  • I also love peanut butter and dill pickle sandwiches.  My grandma use to make it for me, genius ole lady she was!
  • I have never seen Starwars or The Sound of Music.  And I have absolutely no desire to ever see any of the Starwars movies.  No, I'm not that crazy... and No, I'm not missing out on anything. 
  • Johnny Cash is one of the best musicians who ever lived.  And I believe his story is what intrigues me the most and draws me to enjoy his music.  I too, feel comfortable in black. 
  • I still have my childhood collection of hotwheels. 
  • I still like to doodle and color. 
  • My favorite color is Tiffany Blue.  You know to decorate with and such.  I don't wear it well so it accents my house over and over. 
  • The fall depresses me.  It reminds me that summer is over and the rain and fog are coming back to haunt me.  #badOregonian.
  • People who chew with their mouth open really drive me quite crazy.  I know it isn't their fault because likely it means nobody taught them that manner.  But man, it just annoys me so bad. 
  • My first car was a mustang.  But not the cool kind. 
  • Music is one of my strongest triggers for memories.  Good or bad.  A song can take me right back to a certain place and time and remind me what I was doing. 
  • My beautiful leather cowboy boots are my favorite pair of shoes.  
  • I drive a large diesel pickup with pearls hanging from the rear view. 
  • I've worked at doctor's offices for many many years, I've also seen every episode of Grey's Anatomy and House... therefore I'm basically a doctor.  ;)
  • I need to have coffee in my life.  That's just all there is to say about that. 
  • I love to read.  Rarely have time to do it... but love to read.  
  • I hate the feeling of stuff on my hands.  No lotion, no nothing.  Yuck.  They need to be clean and dry.  Yes they are always dry and cracked from washing junk off of them 13,000 times a day... What's a girl to do?
  • Diesel fumes and dirt run through my blood.   I owe all of that to my dad who had me out in the tractor at such a young age.  One of my favorite places to be is in the cab of a tractor.  
Well there's 20 truths you may not have known about me.  Feel free to share some of your truths, I'd love to know.  Do we have similarities?  Are you the complete opposite?  Share, Share, Share!!!

Friday, June 22, 2018

What gets the cut

When you feel broke, what's the first thing you cut out of your normal every day?  I've got so many I can think of that you'd think I'd be saving thousands.

Back in the day when I was living alone, making good money at a great job, had a vehicle that was paid for, and periodically bored in the evenings... I spent waaaayyyy too much money.  I didn't think twice about driving 20 minutes into town to pick up something to eat for dinner.  I had no reservations about making a quick stop at a shoe store and dropping $100+ on a pair of new shoes.  And I definitely didn't have a problem with stopping at Starbucks every morning on my way to work.
Today, I have a 1 year old.  And life has completely changed.  When I feel broke, I cut something out.  And today... I'm to the point where there is nowhere else I can skimp or save money for something more important.

The thought of how much I used to spend on unnecessaries is sickening.  I would make biweekly trips to the salon to have my nails done.  That's a quick $40.  And periodically, I'd break one and need to go back at a more frequent interval.  I'd also have a standing appointment for a cut and color every 6 weeks.  On average I'd spend $140 there.  The hair and nail appointments were the first to go.  I bought supplies and practiced a lot and now do it all at home.   I broke down once and went to a new salon in a new town and was VERY disappointed.  So back home I went... if I was going to be disappointed with a job poorly done, I'd rather be mad at myself and be $100 richer.  I have only bought 1 new pair of shoes in a year.  I'm going through my 175 other pair and actually wearing some of them out.  I am a Younique presenter now... so basically all of my makeup is free.  The monthly massage appointments are no longer.  I only stop at starbucks when I have an unclaimed $5 bill in my wallet and there is NO line at the drive-thru... which in the town I live in is very uncommon.  Kannon wears a lot of hand me down clothes and I don't necessarily feel cheap about that.  I haven't bought clothes for him in ages.  The clothing he gets from our friends, and from family members as gifts is more than enough.  Going out to dinner is saved for when we are out of town and it is a must.  Very rarely do we go out to dinner in our home town.   My furniture is old hand me downs also and I have no intention of replacing any time soon.  I haven't been to a movie in ages.  I don't order a cocktail at a restaurant.  I don't even blow hundreds of dollars on flowers in the spring that I will most certainly forget to water and kill soon after they are planted.

Sometimes I miss the ability to blow money and not care because I'll "just make more"... but life sure has interesting ways of showing you the value of different things.  Diapers are valuable.  They can be expensive and you must have them.  The good diaper rash cream... the big tube of it is expensive, the equivalent of like 4 gallons of milk... also a necessity.  Now in the wonderful world of pinterest, there's a DIY recipe for just about anything you can imagine.

So what do you cut when the budget needs cut?

Thursday, June 21, 2018

oh the joys.

I know... I know... Where the hell have I been?  I always have good intentions every time I sit down to write that I'll be better and do this more often.  It's a fun and creative outlet and I love doing it.  But how on earth does one make time to sit down when there is a toddler running around getting into everything?  Oh yah, did I mention we added a puppy to our crew.  Yes... a brand new puppy.  And he is very much ALL puppy.  Chews on things, doesn't mind very well yet, knocks Kannon over because he's young and clumsy, always wants to play... you know the kind.  He's a labrador, so he will be decent size, and yes I'm happy Kannon will grow up with a dog.  It will be good for everyone.  Dogs have a way of teaching us all a number of things.  I had a dog when I was younger and have incredibly fond memories of him.  Not my purpose for today's blog entry... but at least you have an idea of why I'm so bad at making the time.

No, no... today's blog post is a little more of a rant.  No, not a rant... a way of helping people stay informed.  Yes, that's it.  I'm helping bring awareness.  I've got a little story for you, those who haven't already heard it.  It's a doozy, and be forewarned that there may be quotes that could be considered offensive to some.

A couple of weeks ago I was staying at my mom's house watching her animals while she and her husband were on vacation in Australia.  While I was there I was asked to run up to Portland to pick something up for Bart.  Since I was already in the valley with not a ton to do while staying at Mom's, it made more sense for me to run up there one evening instead of him coming over from the coast and having to rush back over for work the next day.  On Thursday evening Kannon and I loaded up Cash (the pup) in his kennel in the back of the pickup and we took off to Portland.  We maneuvered rush hour traffic with little effort and got what we set out for and began our small trek back down to Albany.  A quick trip, straight up and straight back.  Once we were out of major traffic, I looked down to see I should probably get some fuel.  We exited the freeway just outside of the city at a large truck stop.  When I'm traveling alone or with my young child, I make sure to stop at high populated, well lit areas that feel safer.  It was about 730pm and I wanted to keep moving so that we could get home at a decent hour and my boy wouldn't be too much past his bedtime when we arrived back at Mom's.  I also had left 2 small dogs at Mom's that would need out to potty before bedtime.  When I get fuel, I'm notorious for asking for a flat dollar amount.  I very rarely just tell an attendant to "fill it up".  When pumping diesel into my large pickup, they usually have to slow down the flow for whatever reason and it takes a solid 15/20 minutes to fill it up completely.  While it isn't the most efficient method, I typically ask for $40, $50, or $60 of fuel depending on how empty I am, how far I have to go, and how much time I feel like I have.  Because I wanted to just get back on the road, I asked for $40 of diesel to the young man who came to my window and took my credit card.  It was a busy gas station and almost every pump had someone pulled up to it.  $40 was a quick 13 gallons into my pickup and because it was busy there and I didn't feel like waiting for the young man to come back to hang up the nozzle and send us on our way, I jumped out of the pickup to hang up the nozzle myself.  When I got out and reached for it, I quickly saw that the green diesel nozzle was still hung up and there was a black handled gasoline nozzle hanging out of my fuel tank spout.  My initial reaction was panic.  I was instantly furious and quickly found eye contact of the young attendant who had made the massive mistake.  I screamed across the gas station for numerous people to hear "Did you seriously just put gas in my diesel pickup?" His hands came to his face and he almost fell to the ground in pure horror.  He began apologizing and going on and on about how he had gotten almost no sleep the night before because of a roommate situation and the fact that the roommate apparently watches TV all night long and makes it impossible to sleep.  In not so many words I told him to just figure out how to fix the problem.  Asking for the manager (whom he had already radio'd to come out) I asked him what the protocol was to get this taken care of.  When the manager came out she too, apologized and told me she would get the mechanic on the phone.  A few moments later she came back towards me after a phone call made and told me that the mechanic had just sat down to dinner and wouldn't be able to come out to take care of the problem for 2 hours.  I exploded with angry words towards her and the attendant explaining in a not so calm way that 2 hours was completely and totally unacceptable.  This was a truck stop at 730 at night for crap sakes... they don't have a mechanic anywhere on site.  I found it hard to believe.  I could not and would not sit there stranded with a 1 year old in my pickup and a puppy in the back.  This was a mistake that wasn't my fault, why on earth would any employee think that this was acceptable to make me wait for that amount of time?  They offered for us to hang out in the truckers lounge, yah no thanks.  I told them we travel alot and would be far more comfortable in my pickup.  So I took a few moments to child proof the cab so that Kannon could crawl around at his leisure.

 I had plenty of clothing, diapers, and milk for Kannon to be comfortable.  But I was in shorts and a tank top and hadn't even packed a sweatshirt for myself given the evening had been hot and I had planned on being back home in a comfortable environment before ever needing to put a sweatshirt on.  Serves me right I guess for not being prepared for anything.  They offered to feed us on the house and would credit my card back for the $40 I purchased plus fill up my pickup once the gas had been siphoned out.  So we waited in the pickup for the mechanic who couldn't be bothered to leave his dinner date early.  I was so mad and had an entire ruthless speech prepared for him when he got there.  They came out to check on us regularly... the other attendants often asked if we needed anything and knew me by name within 20 minutes.  We got a bunch of funny looks for being parked there at the pump for an extended period of time.  At the 2 hour mark, I was mad.  At the 3 hour mark, I was irate.  I went back into the store where the manager was to demand the status of the mechanic that I was relying on but clearly hated.  "He should be here anytime..." was the answer I got for the next 25 minutes.  He finally rolled in around 11pm.  Just as I was getting ready to unleash on him, he hopped out of his big truck and asked if I was the person he was looking for?  I snippily replied that "I better be."  He began getting all his supplies out.  "Nice of you to grace us with your presence." I said to him.  The look that he gave me was less than amused.  It took me a few minutes to realize this was a guy... just a guy, who was a local farmer who had been subcontracted to come in and fix these minor things.  Just a guy, with a family, who did this on the side to make a few extra bucks.  Some farmers really struggle and don't make a ton of money.  All the money they make goes directly back into their farm.  And from the look of his torn flannel shirt and his well worn boots, I realized my rude comments weren't going to do anything.  They wouldn't make me feel better, they weren't going to give me back the last 3.5 hours that I'd spent trying to keep a 1 year old wrangled in the cab of my pickup.

 Just before he had arrived, Kannon began to drink his last bottle and was almost asleep.  I rattled him awake and he was really beginning to get fussy.  I put him in his carseat in hopes it wouldn't take too long to get back on the road.  Brian began siphoning out the gas and we chatted about farming, leisure activities, and life in general.  The more I talked to him, to worse I felt about being so judgmental of his work ethic prior to meeting him.  Truly it's the gas stations fault and they should probably think about having a mechanic on hire full time.  Or at least one that is truly an emergency on call.  The reason I say that is because they admitted to me that this kind of thing happens numerous time a week.  Yes... a week.  This happens more than once a week.  The last time it happened earlier that week was a guy who happened to be by himself and it was late at night, they paid for a hotel room for him because Brian wasn't going to come out in the middle of the night and was going to wait until morning.  Again, not Brian's fault... definitely the gas stations issue for not having a proper protocol for making sure things get taken care of.  Brian gets finished and fills up my tank with diesel.  32 gallons and more than $125 dollars later and my pickup is ready to be fired up and get back on the road.  I had already apologized to him for my quippy comments and he was quite understanding.  I also apologized to attendant for being such a bitch.  And to the manager for all of my frustrations.  Truly it was just a human error... which are normal... because none of us are perfect.  I assume I probably scared the young man into never making that mistake again.  He genuinely felt terrible and was fearful of losing his job.  I told the manager once I was in my calm state that I wished for no such thing.  He clearly was a young man with less than ideal home situations, working hard and just lost track of his focus and made a terrible mistake.

On the upside of it all... because I had decided to try and be helpful by hanging up the nozzle myself, I realized the error before I started my pickup.  Which definitely saved us all, in a lot of ways.  Had I started it and pulled in that fuel that didn't belong in my pickup could have caused a lot of damage.  On the upside... it was early enough in the day that Brian was willing to come out at all and we were able to make it home that night and not have to stay the night somewhere.

More often than not, I watch the attendant when I ask for diesel to make sure they pull the diesel nozzle if there is more than one.  Sometimes diesel is by itself in it's own pump.  The one time that I was distracted for just a moment and didn't watch and trusted when I handed my card over... and this happened.  Why on earth are we not allowed to pump our own fuel?  When we travel and get into the states that allow self-serve... at least it puts the responsibility on us.

It was a frustrating evening to say the least.  It had gotten cold... I learned my lesson and always put in a jacket or sweatshirt.  And I was reminded how awesome my kid is for waiting until 20 minutes before we left to really get very grumpy.  I'm a lucky gal to have such a tolerant kiddo!  And there were no messes when I got back to my Mom's house to let her doggies out.






Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Oh how things change...

Life has a funny way of changing how you think, how you do things, or where you go.
Before I had K, I was a blubbering mess of questions, blog- reading constantly only to become more confused, confiding in friends that I just had no clue what I was doing.
It sounded like a good idea to have a strict schedule that kept my baby fed and napping at regular times.  It sounded like a great idea to keep germy people away from my beloved and those who did come near would need to bathe in bleach and Purel prior to entering my home.   It seemed like a good plan to "have it all figured out" by the time baby actually came into my life.  I read countless blog posts from other moms recommending a certain way of doing things.  Some friends telling me not to worry... I'd surely "figure it out when he got here".  Of course it seemed standard to register for cute diaper bags and children's clothes forgetting how functional something may or may not be.
Well then life slaps you in the side of the head, and laughs at you for thinking you had your shit figured out.
My germaphob attitude quickly went from wanting people to be completely sanitized prior to contact to just making sure they didn't have snot hanging from their nose or visible nastiness on their hands.  Don't get me wrong, if I know people have been sick... I take precaution.  I wash hands, and wipe things down.  But more often than not, when I see something in his mouth that more than likely has a good collection of the worlds germs on it, I stick it in the category of "building immunity".  I do believe we live in an over-sanitized world now more than ever and understand how our environment builds the immune system we all have.
His perfectly matched outfits and needing to change him after every time he spit up on his shirt quickly went out the window.  Now it goes something like this: showing up in public, taking a quick scan to make sure his outfit isn't too terribly mismatched, and that there isn't spit up visible on the neck of his shirt or down his arm.  Give him a quick sniff to make sure all is in order, and we are GOLDEN!
In the beginning I was so petrified that I wouldn't be able to breastfeed and that is what's best for my baby, blah blah... I also had intentions on following expert's guidelines for introducing foods.  As it turns out... I was lucky enough to be able to nurse my son, I still am thankfully.  There's just so much good stuff in that junk, I felt pretty passionately about it.  But about a month ago, I got this feeling I just couldn't get him filled up.  I'd tried a couple of things, but finally broke down and gave him a bottle of formula... my anxiety about that quickly disappeared when he guzzled it down and kept it all down without spitting up and seemed full and happy and content for awhile.  So now, we nurse when we are home all day, and when we are out and about and need a bottle to keep the boy happy, he gets formula and is perfectly fine with either.  Breastfeeding didn't suffer when I gave him formula.  Who the heck says you can't combo feed kids?!  With the exception of dairy, nuts, and honey... he pretty much eats whatever I may have on my plate, or at least a taste.  He has shown no signs that he's allergic to anything as of yet.  And he is a happy boy when he is eating.  It's so fun to see him react to different tastes.  And yes, sometimes I feed him with a metal fork at the restaurant!!!  For Shame!
I remember the early days when I had to put down a clean blanket where I was going to lay him down and let him have his floor time.  Fast forward to the more efficient mom days, and my now very mobile child crawls around the gym floor during basketball games and sticks his shoes in his mouth when he sits down.  **hand to head, head to lap, SIGH.
And the one that I get the biggest chuckle out of is the cute diaper bag!  I registered for 2 cute Eddie Bauer diaper bags.  They are both great bags, well made, and functional.  But my favorite, the one I can't live without, the one I recommend to all new mom friends, the one I always go back to, the one that is the most functional is the Diaper Dude.  The hand-me-down from Bart's brother.  We discuss it's effectiveness in design every time he sees me carrying it.  I'm thankful to him that I got it for free!  It's heavy duty zippers and buckles are straight and simple.  It has D rings and clips on the outside that you can attach keys to with one hand (since they are all usually full) and then don't have to search through pockets to find later!  The cross body messenger style strap fits over the handle of the stroller and even grocery carts (which is something I have found in NO other diaper bag).  Everything is accessible with one hand, when worn over your shoulder it sits on the back side of your hip and is easily to open and grab just what you need with plenty of pockets to organize your little one's things.

Those are just my top ones that I seem to encounter daily.  Each day, I learn a few new things about my kid and find an easier way of doing things.  My tiny human is still alive, happy, and healthy... so I call that a #momwin.
Moms, dads, new or experienced... What are your go-to items?  Your "I can't live without". Your advice that matters the most and the least?  Hit Me!!

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

Do what makes your soul shine...

It's taken me quite a few years to figure out what makes my soul shine, i.e... what makes me happy, what drives me to be a good human, what motivates me, my life's purpose, my mission... you know what I mean.  Each and every human on the planet has a different soul.  Each and every one of those humans has different passions, goals, motivators, and purpose.  I've gone through spells where I felt lost and without purpose.  There have also been times where I felt I just needed to be good at 1 thing and make money to pay bills and the rest would just fall into place.  For me, nothing has greater meaning than being mom to my little.
I never really thought much about being a mom.  I didn't have that "mommish" instinct... I wasn't drawn to touch and hold and coo at other people's babies.  And then one day it hit me... I was 30 years old, had taken a small step backwards in my career, and just got that feeling wash over me that my time to become a mom was dwindling.  As it turns out, that is exactly what makes my soul shine.  That is exactly what makes me happy.  That one thing makes me want to be a good human each and every day to set an example for him.  He motivates me daily to do things that he needs, things that teach him how to be his own kind of human.  He was the reason I was put on this earth, he is my purpose.  I was supposed to be his mom.  With that being said, being a mom doesn't pay worth a shit. (excuse the language).
So what do you do?  My first step was to take other people's children into my home to take care of them.  I am only willing to do this on a very small scale... ya know I don't want to go crazy,  I want to continue being a good human.   I've struggle to really figure out how to "mom" effectively plus do all the normal everyday chores that keeps a house functioning.  It always seems the second I start something, there's a fussy child that is bored in his walker, jumper, play mat, toys... whatever.
So what to do next?  Because watching other people's children doesn't pay worth a shit either.  Like I can pay bills on $3.75/ hour.  A quick search on the web will show endless lists of side hustle gigs you can do to make money from home.  Selling stuff... turns out I suck at selling stuff.  Some of them involve being on the phone... well that's out.  You should hear this place sometimes.  That also kind of throws out transcription or data entry because.... well I doubt I could be real good at any of that with that noise factor I mentioned.  The number one listed stay at home money makers for moms was blogging.  So they say you can pick a niche or not...  which is something I have failed to do.  I don't have specialties... I'm kinda all over the place.  So the fancy term for these are "lifestyle" blogs.  So I guess that's what I've got.  But I think the idea is that you post more than once every few months.  Ugh.  Here goes nothing, I'm going to get serious about this.  Any other blogging stay at home moms out there have any advice?  Ready, GO!!

20 truths

Today I'll let you in on 20 truths you may or may not know about me.  Don't anybody go taking offense to anything... it's just m...